Stay or quit the job

Should one quit the job to follow what he wants, or stick to the job?

My answer is....

When I was 19 years old I made the devastating decision of pursuing a good paying corporate job that would eventually lead me to thinking about suicide.

At that time I was just starting out, I hadn't picked a college major, and I hadn't even thought about what my life would really be like 6 years in the future.

Becoming A Slave To "Paying Bills Every Month"

The only thing on my mind was how to make money so I could pay bills.

My family was going through tough times and I thought the best thing for me to do was to do what would make me the most money, fastest.

6 years later - though I had a high paying job, I could now take care of my family, buy expensive gifts for them.

I could go out with my friends and spend money on dining in expensive places. I could hang out with girls taking them out on expensive dates, and buying them presents.

I could wear expensive suits and my colleagues and my boss would look up to me for having impeccable taste. Heck my boss would ask me for fashion advice.

My family was proud of me for turning out SOO well. They would boast to their friends that I was so successful. I was the trophy that was missing in their cabinet.

And now everything would be okay.

...but on the inside I was dying.

It was a suffocating feeling....

I felt like I was in some one's clutches and I could not get out.

The worst thing was that I hadn't even been able to do my hobby... which made me feel worse.

The only reason i did not pursue my hobby because it didn't pay well at that time... because I couldn't see that I would be able to make it pay.

The Fallacy Of  A Career Path

The career path with a good paying job is defined.

You do your degree.

You pass with great marks.

You apply for interviews.

And pretty soon you will get hired and start your career.

The career path for your hobby isn't defined.

If you do your degree, you still have to figure out what to do after.

Then you have to find people who will be willing to pay for your hobby.

Then you have to understand the business side of things.

But on top of that you have to explain to everyone why you're doing what you're doing.

How it will pay for your bills, and how you will still take care of everyone.

It isn't the easiest thing in the world. And because it is hard - most people don't follow their hobby.

I thought it would be hard, and that's why I didn't follow my passion.

The Fallacy of Talent

Here's the funny thing though... when I started working in the corporate job I didn't know anything.

Sure I'd done a degree, and gotten the right marks to get in... but from the work perspective... I didn't know anything.

That's true whether you joined a multinational, a local conglomerate or just a small 10 person office.

When you just start out in your line of work... you don't know jack. The multinational company knows this.

So what do they do... they pay you to show up... at least for the first 2 years.

In those 2 years they will train you to do the things that they needed you to do.

You start working and you start learning. The more you work, the faster you learn, and the faster you learn the faster your progress in your job.

To get you to a point where you can actually provide more value to the company than it cost to train you, and that it costs to pay you now.

That's the fallacy of talent. You aren't talented at the corporate job that they are paying you - but because you show up and DO the work is why they are paying you.

Let's say you love to paint... just to make this example simpler... but you can replace painting with whatever you truly love to do.

What would happen if some one paid you to paint for 8 hours every day for the next 2 years?

But that's not all... what would happen if along the way that same person corrected your mistakes, taught you to hold the brush better, improve your strokes, and how to better mix paint.

But then as your skill improved taught you to paint using Canvas, Oil a

Transitioning into adulthood

What are important but uncomfortable truths that many people learn when transitioning into adulthood?

I think,

1. Your parents will get more and more out of touch. They will still want you to do what they want you to do. It's okay; you don't have to do it. You are not beholden. You will eventually get to a point where you do, actually, know better than your parents - and there is nothing wrong with that. It happens. 

2. Not only does the world not revolve around you, it never did. 

3. There will be people who will see your discomfort or pain...

... and not care.

... and think you deserve it. 

... and be amused or titillated by it. 

4. People do not owe you their help.

5. You are under no obligation to remain in a relationship with someone who has harmed you, even if they are a parent or a partner, and even if they are dependent upon you. You have the right to your boundaries.

6. If you keep having disagreements with multiple people about the same things, there's only one common factor: you. As a friend of mine said once a long time ago: If one person tells you that you are a jackass, you may safely ignore it. If six or eight people who are reasonably sound thinkers express the opinion that you are a jackass, go get fitted for a saddle. 

7. Just because you are an adult with your own business and your own suffering does not mean you have a right to ignore the suffering of others. Adulthood does not come with the right to be self-centered. Leave that in adolescence, where it belongs. 

8. How you treat those who cannot possibly benefit you demonstrates your character. The way you treat the homeless or the waitstaff is far more indicative of the person you really are than the way you treat your boss. 

9. If you're put in a position to choose between a promotion and a friendship, choose the friendship. 

10. If you want the world to be a better place, the work starts with you. You have to do it too. 

11. Sometimes if you help someone, they will help you in return, but not always. Sometimes they're not capable of it. Sometimes they won't realize it. Sometimes they can't accept that they needed help so they ignore it. Your help has to come with no strings attached, or it's not help - it's just blackmail.

12. People will disagree with you. People will dislike you. But people will also like you and agree with you. Be sure to have a lot of contact with the group that likes you, and a moderate amount with the group that doesn't, to keep your perspective accurate.

13. Many people your age have not learned these life lessons yet. That doesn't release you from your obligations to behave like an adult. They may never learn these lessons, but you have. 

14. Sometimes you can help someone learn one or more of these lessons. Sometimes that may end the friendship. People don't like these lessons. They involve the truth, and change, and pain. Don't force it, but be aware - you may be the lever that moves their world someday, just by understanding these lessons and acting on them. Sometimes, it is your job to be the doctor, no matter what Alanis Morrisette said.

15. Do not attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by stupidity or ignorance. 

16. Sometimes you will be someone's teachable moment, whether you like it or not. Handle it as gracefully as you can. 

That's it, have a great day.