Stay or quit the job

Should one quit the job to follow what he wants, or stick to the job?

My answer is....

When I was 19 years old I made the devastating decision of pursuing a good paying corporate job that would eventually lead me to thinking about suicide.

At that time I was just starting out, I hadn't picked a college major, and I hadn't even thought about what my life would really be like 6 years in the future.

Becoming A Slave To "Paying Bills Every Month"

The only thing on my mind was how to make money so I could pay bills.

My family was going through tough times and I thought the best thing for me to do was to do what would make me the most money, fastest.

6 years later - though I had a high paying job, I could now take care of my family, buy expensive gifts for them.

I could go out with my friends and spend money on dining in expensive places. I could hang out with girls taking them out on expensive dates, and buying them presents.

I could wear expensive suits and my colleagues and my boss would look up to me for having impeccable taste. Heck my boss would ask me for fashion advice.

My family was proud of me for turning out SOO well. They would boast to their friends that I was so successful. I was the trophy that was missing in their cabinet.

And now everything would be okay.

...but on the inside I was dying.

It was a suffocating feeling....

I felt like I was in some one's clutches and I could not get out.

The worst thing was that I hadn't even been able to do my hobby... which made me feel worse.

The only reason i did not pursue my hobby because it didn't pay well at that time... because I couldn't see that I would be able to make it pay.

The Fallacy Of  A Career Path

The career path with a good paying job is defined.

You do your degree.

You pass with great marks.

You apply for interviews.

And pretty soon you will get hired and start your career.

The career path for your hobby isn't defined.

If you do your degree, you still have to figure out what to do after.

Then you have to find people who will be willing to pay for your hobby.

Then you have to understand the business side of things.

But on top of that you have to explain to everyone why you're doing what you're doing.

How it will pay for your bills, and how you will still take care of everyone.

It isn't the easiest thing in the world. And because it is hard - most people don't follow their hobby.

I thought it would be hard, and that's why I didn't follow my passion.

The Fallacy of Talent

Here's the funny thing though... when I started working in the corporate job I didn't know anything.

Sure I'd done a degree, and gotten the right marks to get in... but from the work perspective... I didn't know anything.

That's true whether you joined a multinational, a local conglomerate or just a small 10 person office.

When you just start out in your line of work... you don't know jack. The multinational company knows this.

So what do they do... they pay you to show up... at least for the first 2 years.

In those 2 years they will train you to do the things that they needed you to do.

You start working and you start learning. The more you work, the faster you learn, and the faster you learn the faster your progress in your job.

To get you to a point where you can actually provide more value to the company than it cost to train you, and that it costs to pay you now.

That's the fallacy of talent. You aren't talented at the corporate job that they are paying you - but because you show up and DO the work is why they are paying you.

Let's say you love to paint... just to make this example simpler... but you can replace painting with whatever you truly love to do.

What would happen if some one paid you to paint for 8 hours every day for the next 2 years?

But that's not all... what would happen if along the way that same person corrected your mistakes, taught you to hold the brush better, improve your strokes, and how to better mix paint.

But then as your skill improved taught you to paint using Canvas, Oil a

Transitioning into adulthood

What are important but uncomfortable truths that many people learn when transitioning into adulthood?

I think,

1. Your parents will get more and more out of touch. They will still want you to do what they want you to do. It's okay; you don't have to do it. You are not beholden. You will eventually get to a point where you do, actually, know better than your parents - and there is nothing wrong with that. It happens. 

2. Not only does the world not revolve around you, it never did. 

3. There will be people who will see your discomfort or pain...

... and not care.

... and think you deserve it. 

... and be amused or titillated by it. 

4. People do not owe you their help.

5. You are under no obligation to remain in a relationship with someone who has harmed you, even if they are a parent or a partner, and even if they are dependent upon you. You have the right to your boundaries.

6. If you keep having disagreements with multiple people about the same things, there's only one common factor: you. As a friend of mine said once a long time ago: If one person tells you that you are a jackass, you may safely ignore it. If six or eight people who are reasonably sound thinkers express the opinion that you are a jackass, go get fitted for a saddle. 

7. Just because you are an adult with your own business and your own suffering does not mean you have a right to ignore the suffering of others. Adulthood does not come with the right to be self-centered. Leave that in adolescence, where it belongs. 

8. How you treat those who cannot possibly benefit you demonstrates your character. The way you treat the homeless or the waitstaff is far more indicative of the person you really are than the way you treat your boss. 

9. If you're put in a position to choose between a promotion and a friendship, choose the friendship. 

10. If you want the world to be a better place, the work starts with you. You have to do it too. 

11. Sometimes if you help someone, they will help you in return, but not always. Sometimes they're not capable of it. Sometimes they won't realize it. Sometimes they can't accept that they needed help so they ignore it. Your help has to come with no strings attached, or it's not help - it's just blackmail.

12. People will disagree with you. People will dislike you. But people will also like you and agree with you. Be sure to have a lot of contact with the group that likes you, and a moderate amount with the group that doesn't, to keep your perspective accurate.

13. Many people your age have not learned these life lessons yet. That doesn't release you from your obligations to behave like an adult. They may never learn these lessons, but you have. 

14. Sometimes you can help someone learn one or more of these lessons. Sometimes that may end the friendship. People don't like these lessons. They involve the truth, and change, and pain. Don't force it, but be aware - you may be the lever that moves their world someday, just by understanding these lessons and acting on them. Sometimes, it is your job to be the doctor, no matter what Alanis Morrisette said.

15. Do not attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by stupidity or ignorance. 

16. Sometimes you will be someone's teachable moment, whether you like it or not. Handle it as gracefully as you can. 

That's it, have a great day. 

GOOD MINI HABITS

What are some good "mini habits" to practice doing each day?
Answer is...

Here are 7 mini-habits that take literally 5 mins or less to do, but will change your life immensely.

If you do these 7 habits you will quickly achieve the things you want to achieve in life, you will have the success you want, and you will gain the love and respect of your friends and family.

You don't have to spend years and years of your life developing these habits, and no habit requires you to sweat out.

But just these simple habits will completely change the direction of your life and point you squarely towards getting the success you want in life.

So lets look at the 7 mini-habits that will change your life.

1. Make your bed the minute you wake up in the morning.

And do a damn-good job of making it. Stretch out the sheets, clean out the wrinkles and fold out the blankets perfectly.

There are two very tangible benefits behind making the bed perfectly in the morning.

First, you've finished a task immediately when you wake up, so you're starting your day with a small self-esteem boost of doing something, finishing somehting, and doing it very well.

Second, when you come home from a tired day, when you've lost in other areas of the day, when things haven't gone your way... you will come home to a perfectly made bed.

There will be nothing between you and a good night's sleep.

The bed will remind you of the success you had in the morning and make you go to sleep looking forward to another day.

'First thing in the morning' is more of a metaphor, meaning get the bed done before you get lost in the day.

You can let it breathe, change the bed-sheets or whatever, but before you step out of the house, get it done. Or if you want to laze around get the bed made before lazing out on the couch.

2. Put things back to where you found them

What this means is that no matter what you use in your day, as soon as you're done using it, put it back.

Done polishing your shoes? Put back the shoe polish and the brushes to where they belong.

Been cooking some food? Put back all the utensils to where they belong.

Done watching a DVD? Put it back in the box and in the shelf where it belongs.

Here's why this is super beneficial; every time you put stuff back to where it belongs you're immediately taking care of a few functions in your life;

The first is that you're clearing out the clutter instantly. When you put things back to where they belong you drastically clear clutter in your life.

Clearing clutter helps you think better and have a better organized life.

The second benefit is that when you need them the next time you won't have to look for it. You'll know where you put it back.

And over time as you make putting things back in their place a habit, you will know every time where anything is.

This has the additional benefit of saving you tons of time without actually looking for things.

If you put your car keys back to where they belong every day, you won't have to find them. You'll always know where they belong.

The third benefit is long term - that you develop a habit of putting things away which will help you in your life as you get busines and busier, putting things where they belong will help you remember where they are in the long term.

3. Pick up clutter before you go to sleep at night

This might sound like more than a 5 minute habit, however when practiced consistently this is a less than a few minute habit.

Often times we end up being tired at night and have dishes in the sink, clothes lying around in the bedroom, magazines all strewn across the coffee table... these are all messes in our lives.

When we wake up in the morning, instead of our mind focusing on the things that we have to it, focuses on these messes and our brain runs awry...

Thinking about all the things 'you should' do and not focusing on the things that you have to do... nor the things that would being you the best return on time invested.

So develop the habit of picking up any clutter you have lying around the

Forgive yourself, love yourself

How do I forgive and forget, love myself, and accept things as they are?


When I was in my twenties I hated everything... I hated my work, I hated my house, I hated the neighbourhood... I hated my life.

I would dream up ways of how I would have it different in the future, what I would do, where I would go and how I would raise my kids.

Then I discovered the single biggest secret that changed my life dramatically.

I was able to do the things that I wanted to do, live the life that I designed for myself and have the relationships in my life that I wanted to have.

The Lie About Building Trust

Most psychologists, friends, therapists and well-wishers will tell you to 'talk about it' and to 'let it all go' (what does that even mean...!!!) . They say that you should do this when you're angry or upset.

They say you need to get everything out in the open, get it off  your chest, and learn to 'love yourself'. They say, the more you talk the better your relationship will be. Let your anger flow, let your hurt be out there and then it wont hurt you.

This is a losers game.

But the truth is when you go to therapy so many small things start popping up that you end up feeling worse... you might feel better in the moment in front of the therapist, but after you get home you end up feeling worse.

A few days later the anger and hurt pops back up again. And you're back to square one.

Most well-wishers say that you should talk about your feelings without understanding the truth about focus... which is this...

Whatever you focus on in your life will increase.

If you focus on the hurt in your life - that will increase.

If you focus on the pain that someone is causing you - that will increase.

Conversely, if you focus on love in your life - that will increase.

But that's easier said than done... right? So what can you do...

The only thing you can do is, change your own behaviour.

You can't change any thing else.

And if you try to change anything else...  anyone else's behaviour, thoughts, or actions you will end up losing.

You will become frustrated, angry, and eventually you will give up on it.

So with that in mind let's look at

The Secret To Forgive The Hurtful People In Your Life

1. Write down everything that's hurting you in your life... thoughts about ex-girlfriends... memories of your friends... hurtful things your siblings said to you...

2. Collect anything you might find related to these memories - pictures, letters, phone numbers - any thing that you've written about her, about your friends, or events that hurt you in your diary, online, email, social media. Collect all of it.

3. Put all of this together in a metal trash can - do this outside your house.

4. Then light all the stuff on fire - (if you're afraid of fire, then just rip up the paper and throw all this in the trash)

5. When you're burning these past hurtful memories say out to your self, "Thank you for what you've taught me - I now release you to the universe!"

6. Delete all her pictures, phone number etc - and then say in your heart - "Thank you _____ (event's name) for everything you've taught me. I release you to the universe. Have a great life."

If you don't do this - you will keep focusing on her and the things she's doing and won't allow yourself to feel love from anyone else. You'll be stuck in a dangerous downward spiral in your life and wont be able to get out of this.

But by doing this you will release all the pent up energy inside you. Release the hurt inside you, so you can feel love in your life.

How To Love Yourself Even When You Hate Other People

Sit in a chair in a quiet room in your house and repeat to yourself, "I love you. You're the greatest miracle on this earth. You might have had a tough time so far. But I will protect you."

Do this for 5 minutes in the morning, and 5 minutes before you go to bed.

If you really want to super charge this, say this in front of a mirror with you looking into your own eyes.


In the beginning it will be difficult, but as you keep repeating this, it will become easier for you - and you will come to loving yourself.

Repeat this exercise for at least 31 days... longer if you want to. I do this every morning when I'm shaving and at night when I'm getting ready for bed.

This alone will help you realize how beautiful you really are. You will start loving yourself and will see your self worth in you.

SO go ahead and do this now. I know you are beautiful, and the greatest miracle in the world. I believe in you.

That's it,  have a nice day :)